Beauty Queens by Libba Bray

BookTalk

“All right, Miss Teen Dreamers! Yoo-hoo! Over here! I’m wigglin’ my fingers your y’all’s attention! Could ya’ll come on over here, please?”…”Hi. I’m Taylor Rene Krystal Hawkins, and I’m Miss Teen Dream Texas, the state where dreams are bigger and better – nothing against y’all’s states. I’m a senior at George Walker Bush High School and I hope to pursue a career as a motivational speaker.”…”Okay, Miss Teen Dreamers, I know we’re all real flustered and everything. But we’re alive. And I think before anything else we need to pray to the one we love.”…”I’m talkin’ about my personal copilot, Jesus Christ.”…”Ahem. Dear Jesus,”…”We just want to thank you for gettin’ us here safe – “

There was a loud, gurgling groan. Somebody shouted, “Oh my gosh! Miss Delaware just died!”

“- for getting’ some of us here safe,”…”And we pray that, as we are fine, upstandin’, law-abidin’ girls who represent the best of the best, you will protect us from harm and keep us safe until we are rescued and can tell our story to People magazine. Amen.” (9-12, ePub ed.)

So, a plane of Beauty Queens crashes on a deserted island…what happens…go!

Well, hut building, spirit finger practicing, rock-star pirate kissing, hallucinogenic fruit-eating, secret volcano villain killing times happen. It’s one hilarious, wild ride so buckle up and remember your lip gloss because prettiness is the light of the world…

Review

I’d just like to start by saying in my review of Bray’s Going Bovine I asked for footnotes…ask and ye shall receive! I was so excited to see footnotes which, instead of giving clarity to an idea, enhance the satire Bray is known for. Not that Bray sticks to the satirical style in this book, nope, she includes elements of magical realism, fairy tale, campy movie, and commercial breaks. The whole mix serves to entertain while taking on the issues of consumerism and gender roles.

I’ll admit that I wasn’t as interested in the themes of consumerism. They are played to the point of parody and while I can very much see the truth in Bray’s handling of the topic I don’t think it was as well executed as the gender roles theme. Consumerism hits you over the head while the unveiling of the Beauty Queen’s personalities and secrets was oh, so much better. The over the top pagent-ness of the girls. Throughout the book they call each other by their titles (Miss Ohio, Miss New Mexico, ect.) and upon surviving a tragic plane crash begin to practice their routines (three-quarter turn y’all, lol). The horror of the beach-crash site including dead contestants and a girl with a tray-table stuck in her head are juxtaposed with Miss Texas giving a pagent-worthy inspirational speech about prettiness being the light of the world. Forget scavenging for food, in the beginning this plane crash was going to be a diet worthy of a master cleanse.

It doesn’t take long for the fake exteriors of these girls to fall away revealing the real person underneath. A trans-gender contestant, a girl lying about her upbringing, child abuse victims, a journalist assuming a role, and a lesbian brought up in the juvie system, among others. It’s easy to see the metaphor in each of these girls hiding under the guise of a Beauty Queen instead of simply being who they are. Their childhood has taught them that no one will understand them, no one has time for a girl who isn’t simply pretty. In the secluded world of this island the girls will shed their defenses like a facial mask, coming together to build a new world and way of thinking that doesn’t make a woman say “sorry” for having an opinion.

This book is a wild ride of fun…and should be required reading for every girl, teen or not. This book will make you laugh out loud and take a look at what type of Beauty Queen you present to the world. Mascara and eyeliner or no, we all choose to present a version of ourselves to the world. This book gives insight to what would happen if we let that persona fall and accepted each other for who we are, not what we should be.

Loved it, Loved it, Loved it…

Rating: 10/10

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